And I just threw up at the table during Mother's Day Brunch.
so i woke up with ketchup and a sticky boob on my face...this is a new low
i would totally change schools right now just to be that new girl everyone wants
we need to drink 2009 down the drain
Babe, I need to be clear. I DO NOT WANT TO HAVE ANAL. Never. No anal. No "talking about it"
My coke dealer 411'd my work number just to see how I was doing and gave me his new number. He must miss my business
When he came downstairs he looked at me like I was attempting to rob his house.
Did you reintroduce yourself?
He threatened to call the cops.
Don't feel bad sweetie, you're not the only classy one in town. I'm still driving around with that tupperware of tequila in my cup holder from last week's Margarita Monday.
I feel like we should actually go to church one of these days to thank god for saving us from herpes and babies.
You had me at "mimosas" several texts ago.
So, no matter what happens today, hold on to this. At least you're not naked under your ex husband's trench coat being stopped by the police who also work with your ex husband. Long story. Actually, not a long story. That's it.
Can't tell if waking up covered in easy mac is the sign of an amazing or terrible night
Yeah, everything was going great until the mugging.
what color bed sheets say meditative warrior but also welcome to my sex dungeon...
navy blue
The fact that you have an answer to that is why we are friends...
the weird part wasn't waking up in someone else's underwear, it was how the cat was staring at me like he knew more about last night then i remembered.
Randomize
