Why are there hot girls at the dollar store?
The recession has changed everything man.
did you mean anything you said last night? i just wnna know
no
If you ever get the opportunity, make fun of how small his dick is for me
On that note if you see a hobo smiling with a pack of cigarettes and an AMP energy drink, that was my good deed for the day
in other news i'm homewrecking via instagram
I drew a nude short fat middle aged woman today and liked it
It was honestly one of my favorite days in art class except for the 20 min she faced me and kept looking at me and we made eye contact
That was awkward , having sex with her while her husband watched via Skype. I'm a porn star or a target. Idk
HE JUST ALLUDED TO FUCKING MY FRESH LOAF OF BREAD
I keep picking up boring men who literally just want to cuddle. HOW AM I THIS BAD AT GETTING SEX?
How many more of your relationships do I have to destroy before you realize sleeping with me isn't a good idea?
And I'm laying here struggling with the notion that I need to put pants on.
I'm gonna fight the coyote
Lmao a dude who just got out of prison said im worth 10 cigarettes in prison...I think that's a compliment
Omg there's puke under my pillow. Clearly I puked and tried to hide it. From myself. \n
I would accept a super bowl ring as an engagement ring
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