It feels like he gave my taint an indian burn.
What happened last night?
You soiled yourself again and told everybody that you'd given birth.
I'm passing your future prison.
Tonights theme there is the 7 deadly sins. Greed, envy, sloth, gluttony, sluttiness, fellatio and vodka.
when you wake up try not to move. we are betting to see if more sprinkles stuck to you or the pong table.
at least the person I hooked up with donates to charity, the shirt I was wearing this morning was his relay for life shirt.
My mouth tastes like what I imagine a hobo's skin would taste like.
All I remember is a very aggressive two-stepper who inadvertently made me give myself a black eye with my own beer
Someone just knocked jenga into a plate of cake. I'm licking off each piece one by one.
HE STARTED HUMMING THE THEME TO STAR WARS!! WHILE I'M SUCKING HIS DICK!!
I no longer need a flask. I need a canteen.
Remember when you brought a guy home from the bar... to our parents house.... on thanksgiving eve?
Guy peeing and puking at the same time in the women's restroom? So impressed that I can't be offended
I didn't know it was possible and I don't know if I'll ever be able to do it again on my own but he literally fuck me sideways.
Okay so as of now, we may either be coming for one night, two nights, or not at all this weekend. It depends on Laura's toe and if I get my period. Will explain later
Randomize