Dude. Fucked her last night. Fucked her this morning. went downstairs for water. took 18 pack of Coors Light instead and took it back to my gf's. Got a blow job from her. Drinking the beer on my deck now. Best Day ever.
Make me a promise>>> if you ever see the brats from that tv show NYC Prep walking around, you will trip them, and you wil throw drinks on them
new excercise plan: walk a mile get a bj then walk a mile home
He sang nursery rhymes to my vagina to get me to have sex with him..
FYI the landlord called and plumbers will be tearing up the bathroom tomorrow. Apparently the tub is leaking into the apt below us so be sure to pee in the shower today.
I think I'm getting too used to throwing up in the reception trash can. It doesn't even phase me anymore
God forbid we drive unregistered mopeds without license plates on a pedestrians only sidewalk without goggles while flipping off passing cars.
Definitely Got caught hugging a strangers tree last night with 5 others.
Watching the tv in the reflection of my phone cause I'm too hungover to roll over.... Yes it is 4 PM...
The leasing office is hiring, so I gave them my resume and class schedule. I doubt they'll call me considering last summer at their "exotic animal" pool party I marched in with a funnel and demanded the employees chug. I doubt they've forgotten.
That amazing moment when the girl in the passenger seat decides to strip you while your driving.
If this nail lady pinches my achilles one more time im kicking her directly in her bedazzled boobs
I have hobbies that aren't destroying myself and others...i can make hats.....
Alcohol. Making me feel good about myself since 2008
He tried to throw up into a beer bottle. It was a complete disaster. Vomit went everywhere. It put the Bellagio's fountain to shame.
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