He doesn't know I'm infertile yet, that's when the sex gets good
We'll probably be arrested for having a cheetah in our apartment anyway, so I say go for it.
Attempting to teach the cat how to shake. I need a job.
After this weekend, it looks come this holiday season I'll be walking in a winter abortionland.
dude he passed out in the strip club on his birthday, WHILE he was getting a lap dance. That drunk.
But if you were going to pour a liquid on your naked body in fall its definitely pumpkin inspired something.
I'm putting you on my Emergency card so i can spend the last ounce of strength in my hospital bed to flip you off.
I am sending my doctor an XXXMas card thanking him for my tits!
I find it fascinating that she'd be more comfortable with her mom finding out she submits dirty disney confessions on tumblr than about her secret email account she uses to chat with dutch and brazilian strangers.
I'm having a martini with dinner. A new level of class.
I'm stoned and eating mustard, also a new level of class.
I'm sorry, that really sucks. I'm in the bath eating lasagna and if anyone comes in here it's going to be bad news for them
Chili is not acceptable fuck buddy food.
Blueberry probiotics greatly increase to the masturbation experience. Try it dude. It’s all the rage
Grabbed the cop's ass and he still arrested Heather instead. Victory is mine!!
Whose the chick running for dorm president promising bigger dicks and softer toilet paper? That’s who I m voting for
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