at least after i hook up with someone i have the decency to ignore them
so then they started chanting "LET'S GET A LITTLE BIT SCHWASTED. S-H-W-...WASTED!" theres nothing like partying with former high school cheerleaders
I just found three unopened cans of PBR behind our futon that I think I was saving for winter.
I come up with the best drinking games while babysitting
I've gotten 23 condolence texts about Germany's defeat. I got 3 for our break-up. That's how much my friends don't like you.
Of course she said it wasn't that good, I don't bring my A game to pity fuck the thrice divorced girl from work
I love that the power of margaritas brought us back together.
Just sponge bathed with a swissper. Thrush inevitable. Shaking.
3 a.m. laundry plus 100 proof peppermint schnapps does not turn out well. Not only is there a puddle of detergent outside the laundry room that I spilled, but my clothes were found in the dryer wit a box of Franzia and a 40. Good thing I was too drunk to turn it on.
My worst fear almost came to light...I was choking and the cats stared at me like they had no problem eating my face if I died
I just took the kind of shit that makes your eyes well up with tears as you feel it moving inside of you... So cleansing.
As your only female friend, I feel the need to inform you that texts like these are why she dumped you.
She went to her drug test stoned.
And strangely enough, we all know she'll pass it.
just really comprehended the fact that I'm getting high at the same place I used to play as a child. the nostalgia and thc is mixing together in one, intense wave. WHO HAVE I BECOME
I'm missing my left shoe, and there's a note on my foot (in my handwriting) that says "HAHA BITCH" Any explanation for this?
Would it be rude to use my vibrator? like he forfeited his right to be mad when he left me orgasmless...right?
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