Strawberries are so good its weird that food is growable
Miracle whip is the devil's jizz.
God. I look like such a fucking stand up guy wearing polo shirts. You would totally trust me not to date rape you.
bl l w
this should be fun to decipher. I'd like to buy a vowel.
Now there's vomit covered trash all over the front lawn. I feel accomplished
I saw the video from Saturday. So, how much did I drink for me to think I was a duck and strip my clothes?
Great. Woke up in Ts room wearing one sock, a glove and a beret with a sorrority chick CLEARLY out of my league. Jose Cuervo you ARE a friend of mine.
The only thing keeping me calm right now is pretending to chop off everyone's heads when using the paper cutter
Yo if you blacked out last night, careful going through your purse. There's cocaine in a lollipop wrapper.
She is so graceful and lady-like, like a swan... On meth
Our DD will meet us there. The strippers are sending a limo to pick him up. He promised them New Years Eve massages. Said he would still drive us home.
I am seriously only coming over if there are McNuggets. I want 10 bitch. Honey mustard.
is 250 jello shots considered an open container?
Can you send me the picture of me licking the cows udders?
He bought me a bottle of Malibu. I think I could love this guy.
I've loved people for a lot less.
Randomize
