Tell him to shut up cuz i said so. I lost my dollar shoe :(
I remember going home with 2 girls. Woke up with 4.
rolled in at 7am w/ 2 girls i met at the strip club. my neighbor was getting up to mow the lawn before he took his kids to school. i'm 31. he's younger. if given the chance, you think he'd want to switch places?
best thing about halloween? there are pumpkins to puke in EVERYWHERE!
She said she didn't think she should have to shave either. Guess no shave November just became no sex November.
You say "I'm in class" like it matters... I'm getting a little tired of having to smoke by myself at 4:20 because you're in class.
Just figured out I can wedge my iphone between my boobs so it stands up at a perfect handsfree reading angle. Clearly somebody up there wants me to smoke this bowl while I watch my bieber videos
Aren't you glad we're at the point in our relationship where I don't even ask why you're hiding in the cabinet?
My roommate took my designated hickey removing spoon out of the freezer.
Pretty sure that molly fried my sinus infection away; i regret nothing
Welcome to drink and talk like a Russian afternoon.
Pirate drinking day will be planned for shortly
I approve this so hard.
Her next conquest seems to be stealing her ex-boyfriend's new girlfriend. Pretty sure everyone involved is totally OK with this.
what better to celebrate not being pregnant than to eat a bowl full of rum soaked pineapples?
We need to step in, this can't continue. The guy she went home with last night looked exactly like Count Olaf, right down to the unibrow.
Which version tho, Jim Carrey or Neil Patrick Harris?
THAT DOESN'T FUCKING MATTER, YOU DON'T FUCK COUNT OLAF!!!
I am way to hungover for it to be Thursday.
Randomize
