I just didn't expect you to be so naked....
i'm all for saving the environment, but when we get into the shower to fuck, he shouldn't flip his shower hourglass timer
I just woke up covered In blood, I have cuts all over my body, I can't find my clothes from last night, I'm still wasted, i'm pretty sure I have a sprained ankle, and the best part is, I have absolutely no recollection of what led to this. THAT'S why vodka is the greatest drink in the world.
My roommate just did the walk of shame in last nights corset back to our room to find her dad there. THATS why i go to school out of state.
I just used my 7th grade year book to figure out who I hooked up with last night. Being home is magical.
If I weren't her cousin I'd take advantage of her and this low point in her life.
should i go to class, or party with a mariachi band?
meriachi band is very tempting, do they have dos equis?
Its like the two hemispheres of my brain are in a death match but are two evenly matched for either side to win kinda drunk.
Most adult booty call ever. Ha. We got down to business and still got to watch the colbert report.
No. Cease was criminally insane from birthday shots, and not a lot of women want to go home from the bar with a guy who wants to "snuggle but keep it strictly professional".
Stop saying "make it happen". I'm not gonna say "hey, you should get naked with your sister and roll around together while I penetrate you both"
Yes. Do not say that. That will not make it happen.
Still. Make it happen
Oh and apparently something happened that was related to "THIS IS SPARTA" but no one will tell me what I did.
So I'm going to blame my boobs hurting on that.
Yeah. That's the shitty part. God, I don't want to be a step mom. Sure I'm great with kids, but I just want unlimited sex and not have to worry about making friends with a fucking 7 year old.
He spent ten minutes post bj, limp cock still out, in shock repeating 'best blow job ever'. So yes, yelling I am the penis queen out the car window was justified.
Dad is wasting no time getting back out there. Just walked in on him and a Twin Peaks waitress in the hot tub
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