I dinstinctly remember making out to "I believe I can fly" and waving my arms like a bird to the beat.
The savings from $3 shots still doesn't add up to plan-b
You kept running into the wall most of the night. When people asked you what you were doing you told them you were the kool-aid man and there was little kids on the other side of the wall who needed your juice
Was I wearing clothes when I handed you your keys. Please tell me I was wearing clothes.
Found her. Shes unconscious up against the room door. Her credit card is in the keycard slot
Hundreds of bug bites..Dad jokingly says "looks like you passed out naked in the woods somewhere"
You think posting ushers "let it burn" video on his fb page is in bad taste? haha
Do you have any booze?
Well I have 60 feet of bubble wrap and a bottle of wine...but I'm saving that for a special girl...
She straight up told me, "I don't care if he films as long as he's quiet." You sure you can't find the camera?
She is screaming bc she thinks you jumped out the window...please show her you just went out for a smoke
Would it be weird to jack off in the hospital?
So my flight takes off at 8am. Does this mean I need to break my airport bar pre-flight ritual?
Aren't you the one who taught me that airports are the judgement-free drinking zone?
Fuck you know you drunk when you start signing the Masson impossjvke song to entourage yourself to pee
Why were you twerking to, "The Wheels on the Bus"?
I went next door to get a can opener from them. They opened the door shirtless, asked me if I wanted to a smoke a joint with them. Then decided to make blueberry smoothies. But the yogurt in the blender & the berries, got confused when the berries blended into the yogurt and just kept adding more. Only stopped when we ran out of berries.
Randomize
