:( I'm sorry!!!
sexual favors sorry?
absolutely not
Tell mom and/or dad that I am going to be home late. I am really blazed. Don't tell them that part, though.
We already established this. No, he did not cum on the dog.
I feel like a squirrel prepping for the winter on dollar beer nights.
Our suitemates are shrooming again. I left a less colorful dress hanging on the door, change before you come in because purple is making Maeve cry.
So the drug dealer I'm sleeping with just got drugs from the other drug dealer I'm sleeping with
Isn't life beautiful?
THAT IS NOT SOMETHING YOU TELL SOMEBODY THE FIRST TIME YOU MEET THEM IN THE DARK.
He wouldn't let me ride him with a Ninja Turtles hat on...
I'm sad we weren't friends when I went through my "I like drugging my friends" phase
I am not exagerating when I say the thought "screw you future me" actually just went through my head
I bought us both waterproof cases so we can sext through FaceTime in the shower.
Next. Level. Shit.
My tub is filled with twinkies which would be awesome if they were still wrapped and not floating in a mixture of bath water and what appears to be vomit.
I couldn't really understand you because you were really quiet and I said "I don't know what you're saying, it's kind of a big mumble" and you said "that sums up my life"
I am so stoned. And there are so many white people in this Jack in the Box.
Throwing up in a storm drain... Not my finest moment.
But my shoes looked boss
Randomize
