There r osticjed everywhere
I cannot even. Taco bell reception. Beers. New friends from Georgia.
the doctor said its the kinda of pregnant you dont recover from
Your panties and toothbrush are in your mailbox. just not ready to be with anyone serious. take care.
Well the strippers have danced to goo goo dolls and green day, time of your life. Were all gonna commit suicide.
Somehow I got food poisoning AND alcohol poisoning in the same night. Its like everything I love is trying to kill me. I'm waiting for my tv to make its move.
Having a vagina does not stop me from believeing my balls are bigger than yours.
You get home ok?
Uh, you stopped by my house at 4 am and woke me up, so yeah.
I'm making a date with someone on Playstation Home. That's how my sex life is going right now.
i need to start buying Plan B in bulk and leaving them at the door. I'm really sick of walking to CVS with my one-nighters
Positive reinforcement! I'm training him for being a good boy and coming over. He gets sex and cookies.
He's nice to look at and knows the difference between your and you're. I win.
All the movies on cable here are either porn or Bollywood. I am never leaving this hotel.
I'd like to have a moment of silence for all the dicks she's broken off
My ex boyfriend literally just asked "who needs porn?". This is EXACTLY why I dumped his ass.
Randomize
