Let's roleplay tonight. I'll be drunken diva and you be sexy sober.
IF that's your way of making me dd then count me out.
You were humming mission impossible as we ran from the cops
I just had someone I don't even know on Facebook message me saying it seems like I drink too much and should slow down.
we're like Indians of the 21st century. trading not for food and survival but personal gain and by trouble you mean getting daytime drunk and going to the roller ring then yes.
Walk of shaming dressed as a zombie hunter. This hangover feels like the actual apocalypse.
Thanks for getting me stoned. My manager started quizzing me about the menu and I struggled until he asked me to describe the tortilla soup. I said "tasty"
I haven't been this unsober in a long time. I feel like I am observing myself. Like I am a test subject for alcohol. I wish my brain would shut up and let me be a normal drunk.
Just got biofeeze on my vag. Weirdest sensation everrr. Can't decide if I want to cum or cry
It started out as friends with benefits and now I'm picking up her kids from daycare...what has happened to me
And your boyfriend doesn't mind you constantly taking pictures of his dick just to freak out your brother?
its more like he's accepted that he can't stop me
She said she wanted you to slurp her vagina like a spaghetti noodle.
The ecstacy made me so dehydrated I started licking condensation off car windows
Who says no to sex and donuts?!
I don't think we should let her have pot anymore. She ate an entire package of bacon half-cooked and screamed that it was al-dente.
I don't wanna be 33 that's when Jesus died
Randomize
