Dude, my boy c***** and I hooked up with Asian sisters last night in the same room
Then I put on blue by Eiffel 65 and security showed up and yelled at us for being too loud. Also, they stopped fucking because no one can fuck to eiffel 65
Shes cool when Im fuckin smashed.....Sober.....She suuuuuuuuuuucks
I'm at the point in my career when i know a sites a trap and isn't real porn
I'll trade you a raw potato for some vodka
just read twilight to her over the phone, while in the bathtub, candlelight...i'd love to say no homo but that was so gay.
i jsut waqnnna hugg thw crap outa sokme peoplee
Hon, I found you crying into a bathrobe in the back of a closet with a broken shoerack.
Wait, whatever happened to locking our vaginas in closets?
soon, soon....
I don't believe you anymore. You're like the boy who cried coitus.....
I stopped hooking up with him and ran to the bathroom to throw up. He saw me throwing up and it made him throw up
I would steal a car if I knew it had wheat thins in it
is it necessary to steal the whole car?
Dude, I wish I could live my entire life blacked out.
you are the only girl i know that would bring a plate of cookies to a hook up. but they were awesome. thanks. next time cupcakes?
havent showered in 2 days. just Febrezed my balls in the car before going into a movie alone with a 40 of Guinness.there isn't a word in English for how single I am.
I smell of tequila and Im going to a funeral. This is my life.
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