Yeah but my nose is so stuffed if I tried to give him head I'd suffocate
He belongs with you like a mcdonalds playground belongs in Chernobyl
WORST DINGLEBERRY EVER
Pls stop me from telling anyone else my broken blood-vessel + splint are "climax-related" injuries.
I'm done trying to be a vegetarian. My vagina smells like hummus.
The savings from $3 shots still doesn't add up to plan-b
Balls are wasted. Waste are ballsted. Ballsd wasted
Unlike bears, this weekend is not the #1 threat to America. It is, however, the #1 threat to my liver
I really want to fuck that guy in the full wind breaker suit
Dad's already had 6 Zionist conspiracy rants and moms trying to detect any "dark energies" in my soul. You have 4 days before you return to this shit: ENJOY THEM
then he grabbed my tit and yelled "FOR NARNIA!!" then dove into my vag. i think I will do him again strictly for the entertainment value
Also, being stuck with my family all week has made it very clear that I need to be drunk and I need to be fucked pronto
It's ok, it's locked within patented Sealrite technology. That puke is staying fresh
I barfed on the cat last night. Just wanted to share.
no no no no you can't just say your dirtiest secret is "i sat on goldfish by accident once" and just leave i have QUESTIONS
AT LEAST TELL ME IF THE GOLDFISH WAS STILL IN A BOWL??????????????
Randomize
