I dreamt Michael Jackson dropped his pants in front of me and I had to ignore it.
where am i from again
what if the hokey pokey really is what its all about?
she kept yelling 'call me bella'
Asian chick on skype stripping for me. Hold on give few min
I never thought that I'd ever use the phrase "and the resulting ice cream explosion" seriously at work...
he slapped my stomach and proclaimed it a baby-free zone
he just flipped me off the bed, said "deal with it", and came on me.
A woman on my train just walked down the carriage in a wedding dress, crying and clutching a can of Carlsberg. Oh...
I realized last night, I never talk dirty in German during sex. How much wasted potential is that?
I found my hair extensions. They were in my hamper.
if you guys find pieces of my teeth don't throw them out please
Do you think you could cook pancakes while i blow you?
My drug dealer is giving me a 15% veterans discount on my weed for nov 11th
That's the best thing I've heard all week.
Its safe now. But... Nobody should sleep on my bed tonight.
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