i'm watching the fashion show on bravo
you're cheating on project runway?
if you can't score coke, you buy crack.
He gave a passionate hug to every tree on the way to my car.
It's never good when you wake up covered with burns
I just threw up in my hands while sitting on the toilet
Also just realized how inappropriate it looks to other drivers to finish bottles of cheap champagne at stoplights
he turned two sober chicks into 7 drunken girls...he's my hero
he had a dikembe mutombo jersey on, was swatting peoples drinks out of their hand and wagging his finger in their face everytime he did it.
i woke up next to a ladle and a packet of chocolate biscuits that my face had melted into one giant biscuit.
ive penciled you in for a day of excessive drinking
We are without power. He took ALL the lightbulbs out and hid them.
I watched you fall asleep, sitting up, eating a cinnamon roll. You proceeded to wake up...smile at your cinnamon roll, ask it how it got into your hand and then began eating it again. You asked me if you were ridiculous last night, define ridiculous.
He wants to buy me a drink to apologize for sending me a pic of his dick. Welcome to my life.
I know it sounds all cute and shit that I wanted him to be with me last night, but it's not cute. I just wanted to fuck.
it was all good until mid make out when he announced 'i just came'. ...he wasn't joking.
Of course his biggest mistake was assuming that I ever gave a fuck to begin with.
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