so it turns out you can rearrange the letters in "scottsdale" to spell "milf city." who knew?
I wanted to tell him he wasn't actually in me, but my god, awkward?
what is with people arguing over soda or pop? to be honest i thought it was just called chaser
Weddings at vineyards should never be allowed to happen. I'm pretty sure I drank every bottle they produced in 2008.
I've never been so embarrassed. It's like waking up as Fred Durst.
Just served breakfast to a bunch of hella drunk kids. They kidnapped the birthday boy for his 21st and he was wearing a disney onesy and bunny ears. They've been drinking since before dawn, why don't we have friends like that?
Her desktop wallpaper is a collage of penises she fucked.
Indeed. Apparently I called my sisters and told them I wouldn't get arrested because it's not a real sword.
The fact that I can sew my leggings while intoxicated proves I'm a functioning alcoholic
I'll just give him your contact info, and you'll somehow manage to get laid. Which will make me feel like your vagina's agent or something.
Accidentally made a straight guy question his sexuality again. I really gotta watch myself.
Pretty sure I got pink eye from the strip club. There is also still beer cans rattling around in my shower.
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
Is it just me or did we have a heart to heart talk while you were naked last night?
Other than the whole stab wound in my leg thing, today was pretty good. The nurses all loved me and gave me a sandwich and juice.
Randomize
