I just googled the nutrition facts for a mcgriddle and yet I still want to go to mcdonalds
Her life must suck. All she's got is "Miss Shamrock" WHICH SHE LOST!
Pretty sure God shed a tear when I put 15 singles in the collection plate.
did you come by the house last night? I found a half eaten corn dog in the mail box.
Not many best friends can say they've all made out with a homeless guy
if by "adventure" you actually mean "getting ridiculously high and shaving our legs," then yes.
His thanks his mom for not having an abortion at his wedding toast. I love frat weddings.
Did I tell you I bit someone's arm for you last night
Fuck you, I'm yelling at a mountain right now
We told you to act sober so to prepare yourself you started doing squats and stretching then you slapped yourself and walked in
I sign my lease Thursday, I'm about to be released back into the wild.
I'll make missing person signs.
You're a good friend.
I fucked R2D2 last night. I consider Star Wars day a success.
Just cuz I'm recovering alcoholic does NOT make me the taxi for you every weekend
Despite how often it occurs, I have absolutely no interest in having sex with myself
He put on star wars porn, i thought it was hilarious last night but now i'm wondering why he has star wars porn
Randomize