I totally thought the tree was playing the guitar
girls just need to accept the fact that i'm going to make out with their boyfriends
please explain to me why there is a shopping cart in my living room.
she wanted to watch hairspray while we fucked. she's obviously your kinda girl, dude.
i just got drunk dialed and its 10am. clearly finals are over.
filling out my bracket based on schools with ppl I've hooked up with
Lets play a game called: how out of it are you today? Let me know if you can beat driving on the wrong side of the road twice and walking up two extra flights of stairs just because you weren't paying attention to what floor you are on....
I just gave an orange Froot Loop the finger for falling on the floor instead of my mouth when I was pouring a mini box of cereal into my face.
You left a motherfucking bruise. ON MY TIT. How? How do you even. No.
He's in the same dorm as me. We are sharing a laundry room, gym, and cafeteria. I'VE ALREADY COMMITTED DORMCEST AND MOVE-IN DAY ISN'T UNTILL NEXT WEEK!!!!
yyyea i think im gonna go get a bowl and play skyrim. And by bowl i mean something i can throw up in, not weed
this hospital has no fireball
Now we're discussing the sex we had and the later lack thereof. It's like marriage counseling via snapchat.
He has a bear rug in his room. I'm going to ask if we can have sex on it. Wilderness sex.
You don't have to buy me dinner, watch tv or even hang out if you don't want. Just fuck.
Randomize
