Who would have thought the night we were surrounded by 4 cops would be the most responsible night of the week.
Do you think the party boat will still go out if there is a hurricane?
He said my breasts were God's way of making up to him for all the shit he's had to endure in his life.
The djing cat is back again. I think he just makes appearances when im shit drunk just to fuck with my mind.
I DON'T CARE LET'S GET DRUNK AND GO. I STRAIGHTENED MY HAIR DO THIS FOR ME.
They wouldn't serve more then two Shots per person, so you grabbed a group of strangers and said u werre buying them all shots, then proceeded to drink all of them.
Yea there's blood all over the porch but we wont have to buy alcohol for the rest of the week
Bathroom attendant appreciated that hug I have him as a tip. Fucking BROKE these days.
I sent him a bunch of texts telling him that his beard wasn't long enough yet so we couldn't fuck and to text me back in a few hours if it had.
I didnt finish. My brain kept playing the duck tales theme thru the entire blow job
...I think I just watched a boy make a sandwich seductively. What.
I told my manager I was trying to conserve my energy for date night/Sexual Olympics later. That's legit for another break, right?
Family acid trip. They're welcoming me into the family.
What. The. Fuck.
Family acid trip.
Naptime over. I've got fresh contacts and tequila. RAAAAAAGE!
Pro: 2020 made it easier to hook up with strippers
Con: explaining to Kari why there’s always strippers at our house
Pro: there’s always strippers at our house
Randomize