K got coke dick during a threesome with two strippers. Say no to drugs.
Henry's handball, Tiger Wood's Car Crash, Roger Federer losing ... That's it....I'm throwing my Gillete away
I found the pot of gold last night, and it was full of bad decisions.
we can't become the bulimic house in the complex dude. Besides, you need teeth for your career.
I found out that they tried to reenact the Snooki drop by using a jump rope and the banister. Pictures say it all.
I am downstairs in the bar now having a beer...actually I ordered two beers and placed one across from me in front of an open chair. I did this for appearance sake, so nobody knew I was double fisting all alone. I'm getting hungry now. I'm thinking of ordering two meals just to keep appearances up.
we are blowing up condoms and making balloons and we’re drunk on the floor. You could have come to school here
I have a surprise for you guys
What is it?
A MOTHER FUCKING SURPRISE DON'T ASK QUESTIONS
banged a milf last night. she left right after cause of parent teacher conferences this morning. victory.
Im hitting on this chick at a stoplight when all the sudden. i notice this chick blowing some dude in the backseat.
I'm using the Malibu pitcher you stole from the bar to make pancakes this morning. It's actually working really well.
YO. MCGRIDDLES.
He just didn't want his drunk dick pulled out of his windbreaker at the family party
I just want to nap all the time and eat Chinese food.
Three cans of beer can fit in the shower catty... multi tasking
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