it was like getting a handjob from mrs. butterworth
dude she licked ball and has every Are you afraid of the dark episode on dvd
lock that shit down
i forgot how awkward it is to meet new people sober
ironically, his detergent was also "small and mighty"
the semester isnt officially over until i take the batteries out of my calculator and put them back into my vibrator
All of my current injuries can be related back to sex.
I'm pregnant just thinking about him.
That last minute feeling of hesitation on whether I should bring my health card to the bar usually means I'm in for a good night.
Thanks for the cold. I shartted and sat through a whole soccer game. James made 3 scores.
It's Scottsdale, it shouldn't be this hard to find drugs.
I know it's 10:30am but Finding Dory starts in an hour, and I have four points of molly. You down?
I AM A GOOD PERSON AND THEREFORE I DESERVE QUALITY DICK!
I may not have my dignity, pride or sanity but I have my pants.
tell raye i said hi and sorry for bleeding on the limes
I gave Sophia a glitter bomb for Christmas. And before you ask is because she pooped in my cat litter box and then drank all my liquor and didn't pay me back and refuses to acknowledge that she had any wrongdoing. So she gets to clean up glitter for the next 10 years.
Randomize
