let's have our labels/stereotypes/careers for each kid by next week.
oh how i love working at summer camp.
Pete just told the whole party I'm a squirter
I found out he doesn't have a facebook, twitter, or myspace. So, I'm going to actually go to his house to spy on him.
i wonder what barack obama's brickbreaker high score is...
Does this sound normal?...She's ironing on pictures of her dead cat to all of her green clothes...
She's the second Ashley to meet and blow me in the same night. Sensing a trend.
You know how hard it is to jerk off in a bathtub with a dog staring at you?
I found a lucrative side business - giving rides home to drunk oil executives. Very profitable.
Just got back from the tanning beds. I'm a lobster. I fear for the safety of my nipples falling off.
He showed me a picture of his baby hamsters and I called them "Mammal McNuggets"
WHY THE FUCK IS MY BATH TUB FILLED WITH MUD?!
1. You were drunk 2. You wanted a mud bath\n3. We tried to talk you out of it, but you kept throwing dirt at us
the fact that i came three times was completely negated by the fact that he high-fived himself after.
HE JUST ALLUDED TO FUCKING MY FRESH LOAF OF BREAD
He's 5'2" and his dick 4'8"
It’s a dick. Seen one, seen em all. Unless it spews a fountain of tequila, I don’t need to see yours.
Randomize
