his penis looked like arnold from hey arnold. it was interesting.
He did a double fist pump when he discovered the Magnums fit and skipped back towards the bed.
and I'm going to name my autobiography "blow jobs with enthusiasm are the best"
I'm naming my autobiography "Reasons Not to Date Girls From Texas."
So one buddy got tackled at the urinals by national guard members and was arrested. Another had sex in a port o potty with possibly the drunkest girl I've ever encountered. The rest of us blacked out and won a few bets. So yes, the derby did meet our expectations.
I can get orange kush...
GET IT NOW! WHY IS THERE A DOT DOT DOT?!
he keeps trying to sext me and all I can do is respond with descriptions of what im eating.
It's only 11:30 and she's already making friends with the homeless...
Random memory from the wedding, the bartender showed us how to open the windows and piss out of them.
Don't you judge us. Sockets make ideal bowls
Your biggest crisis right now is that you can't decide whether to keep hooking up with AN NFL PLAYER or try to rekindle your relationship with your ex. You are a walking white girl problem.
I'm sort of afraid for my life tho. If the 4th of July can be the way it was a DMX show is capable of anything
I was shitfaced. I filled my contact case WITH TANNING LOTION
Yes, you can go into Petsmart drunk but the cats awaiting adoption don't appreciate the soft pretzels squeezed through their cages.
I'm trying to get weird tonight. Like I want to see bitches crawling on all fours drinking milk from bowls and shit by 5 am. You down?
We were 6 minutes into the movie before we realized the whole movie was spoken in Italian. That level of stupidly-ripped
Randomize
