Yo I charged a $20 breakfast to ur room, will pay u back in liquor and schoolgirl panties, thx again for a fun time
Her little brother was home, so we had to hook up while playing hide and seek with him
I thought he was joking about bailing you out until I saw the picture of you and the sheep in the morning paper. Were those my boots you had on it
Dude manswers just said that a guy can only cum up to eight times in one day. I'm gonna prove that show wrong.
ha well at least you have goals.
The night was doomed the minute I started taking shots with an apple as a chaser.
He's so young, I keep getting a mental image of him in footie pajamas. It's cute but it's wrong. Or is it?
She showed up to the party with a live octopus and a 30 pack that was already half gone
I'm drunk, we're losing, and I'm in the visitors stands. This is about to get ugly.
I may be bringing home two guys tonight. I'f they won't go for a double-team you can have the lanky one.
Yup. Can I borrow your penis decanter for my Xmas party on Saturday
Hey sorry for being annoying last night, I just realized how many times I yelled "JORDAN!" during and after playing pong.
I'm really sorry I hooked up with your student on the dance floor..
I'm at that point in my life where keeping an extra pair of underwear in my purse is normal.
just had an acid flashback in my therapist's office. i am a walking stereotype
THEY LEFT ME IN A CLUB BY MYSELF. I’M SO ANNOYED. I’M GOING TO FUCK THEIR BARTENDER FRIEND. Caps only because I’m really mad.
Randomize