I find it ironic that homeless people are so good in bed
it was a sick party until you insisted on putting on "that's how I beat shaq"
You bet me 100 dollars that the Raiders would win the super bowl this year. I have it on tape.
Either seal the deal or get out of the room, I don't want to hide in this closet anymore
Goose bottles do NOT make good bowling pins
get over here soon, theyre throwing bbeers at us from the roof. keyword : throwing
I feel like everytime I call him he's either fucking or getting into trouble. It's really disturbing that he presses the answer button and then proceeds to fuck her harder.
She was wasted talking to my dad about the hunger games than she passed out in the shower and flooded the hotel room...
I'm working on finding a bottomless situation. Both pants and mimosas.
Can we just smoke a few bowls and eat grilled cheese while drunk in our hotdog suits at 9am ?
Full disclosure. I fucked the fatty from work and shit is weird now.
He came inside and met my grandmother after we had sex in the driveway. I love that he has a van.
Your friends are scaring the cats so I'm going to smoke weed with them to call them down.
We'll get you some ice cream, but no sprinkles. Sprinkles are for winners.
But the problem is you celebrate with your heart but I celebrate with my liver
Randomize
