sooooo how many boyfriends is too many?
ok 1 i realized people actually live in central wisconsin and 2 culvers could be a good place to pick up chicks today
We have a drunk bartender with her nips a quarter inch from bein out buying us shots. GET HERE.
You just said the magic words
I'm standing in the shower drinking with the light off and a candle lit, listening to Amy Winehouse. Be proud.
please tell me why my pillow is wearing your thong...
...i wondered where i left that...
I just want to know who nailed the chicken nugget to the door.
This was like angel cum on the bread of life filled with the nectar of the gods
You're the only person I know who can be puking into a trash can at 8 in the morning in Manhattan and get a date out of it....
I guess I was blacked out I hopped a fence and hugged a cow that night.
Phil and I agree that the level of sand in your vagina rivals that of many of the earth's largest deserts
I don't have the resources to adequately explain this. I need like a Powerpoint presentation and also Vodka.
So after the absinthe shots_____(fill in the blank area for me please)......
All i remember is looking at the bottle vodka that I was drinking and wondering how it was suddenly empty.
That may have had to do with you chugging it
I'm sitting in the hospital with him while he's still half drunk with a busted leg because he thought he could do parkour off a rock
Fursuit judi Dench just stared directly at me for 3 solid minutes telling me that cats arent dogs and i believe her because if i dont cat jason derulo might try to have sex with me
Randomize
