I woke up at 5am and he was watching me sleep... Come get meee!!??
boyfriend complimented me on my new prada shoes today. he is officially either gay or the man im gonna marry. knowing my luck it's all of the above.
So me and friend just finished Eiffel towering this girl and sounds great in theory but after the high five has commenced its just a weird threesome especially when you make eye contact with your buddy during the session
critical mistake not lubing the nipples
My night consisted of weed, sex, and Mexican food. In that order. I think we found the keys to saving our marriage.
Who knows. I'd probably only get a makeout with an OTPHJ from her so the return on sexual investment from her isn't looking that great.
You told me to keep you from drinking, but we both know I'm not that kind of friend.
I just almost caught my floor on fire, then decided I could put it out with my knuckles! So I'm doing good!
Seriously insulted!! You can not share my dick pick with your gay brother. He won't quit poking me on fb
$150 and 3 orgasms. Dogsitting is awesome.
My cat just smacked my blunt from my hand and then put her head in my hand. I don't know how to feel
congratulations on joining the accidental bisexual club
He tried to eat me out...through my pants.
so idk what that means but now because of me he has a police file as breaking into my apartment and sleeping in my hallway under the carpet
Guess who won a basket of sex toys in front of his parents, aunts, uncles, sister, and cousin...
Randomize
