If it makes you feel any better I'm plucking my mustahce and drinking. Alone.
I wiped a tear off her cheek with my boner. It cheered her up
He told me he was a psychology major, and I responded by asking him where he hid his vagina.
Please fuck him. And then let me tell her. And then let me protect you from the knife she pulls from her Ed Hardy purse. Please.
She tased me when I walked in the door. Thought I was trying to steel her weed.
I know I said that I'd stop dating 20 year olds... but at least this one's not my student...
Sometimes I seriously wonder if I could get away with vodka Sundays at work. Cuz this red bull feels naked.
The party got busted because you two got caught having sex on the neighbors trampoline, come on man.
We dropped so many bottles they would only give us plastic cups. We actually drank ourselves back to preschool.
He wants me to hook up with his fiance while he watches. Text you later with how it goes.
I hope you get some kind or rare disease that makes your dick ties itself in a knot for fucking her you lucky bastard.
Part of me really wants this picture, but the other part of me knows if he is really this drunk, he could be sodomizing a lamp and not know it
He got in a shopping cart outside of home depot and insisted we push him down a flight of stairs. For science.
Im gnna go loik fir my newq gay friuend now
Goodbee
i just watched a 7 minute video on people making a hot air balloon for their dog and i am a changed person
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