Hey its my first time.
I think you mean "it's my first time"
There's a girl in front of me with a see through white shirt on and her back says I suck bad dick. Fun night hun?
I woke up and he had cut my bangs and put makeup on me.
I don't care how good they make you look, you've got to stop sleeping with gay guys.
Sunday was the 8 month anniversary when you shot me in the face...just an FYI.
Oh my God, I want him to live with his face in my vagina forever.
Just pulled back my covers. Jizz. Jizz everywhere. Hipster jizz everywhere on my only set of sheets.
a pansexual with facepaint started fucking a tall black girl on the bed i was sitting on so im going to mcdonalds
If you hook up with a kid and the next day he breaks up with his girlfriend, those can be seen as two completely unrelated incidents right?!
Dude, you can't even imagine the trip, I actually thought that there were Care Bears sitting next to me at the bar, I'm pretty sure I started hitting on the pink one.
University has ruined us all. I just had to clarify the last time I had sex as "No, not at the party we crawled home from in the snow. It was the one where you puked off the balcony and hit the barbecue."
It was everywhere. My dick was a sprinkler of lost future children.
dude, where are you? this beer run has taken so long i read war and peace, took a nap, and shaved 3 times.
Haha ohman remember when I peed in your blender? Gotta love college.
YOU DID WHAT???
You drunkenly said something along the lines of "move forever" to the lady standing in your way. Needless to say you had too many mimosas at breakfast.
shit i just threw up on a freshman
i don't know if i should laugh or feel bad..
nevermind it was a sophmore, laugh.
Randomize