my girlfriend just informed me I need to get tested and so do you
girlfriend?
she uses ice cubes and hums anything I want. Last night was Welcome to the jungle. it wasnt lost on me shes a puma. no shame in that 30+ game.
I wish the iPhone would register texts from 11:59 as "Last Year" instead of "Yesterday."
Someone just asked if you were the one who rode around the bar on some girls back
thanks for celebrating my birthday so severely 2 years ago. i just found your hospital discharge papers in my closet.
anything for my little brother.
still finding ketchup in my shoes. thanks to graduation that is probably the last time ill ever say that..
Life gets in the way of sexy Saturday sometimes
hey sorry if you felt me holding your hand in the middle of the night I was actually just checking if you had a pulse
he knocked a glass of water onto my bed and then said that he should get to sleep on the dry side because he was "a guest"
Don't talk to me about scholarly dedication until you've taken a final in boxers, a bloody tank top and a zip tie to hold your hair back. I wear the most sullied 4.0 crown of all time....
Realized it was likely to be cursed, didn't want my own Johnson magically turning into some sort of fire breathing reptile and eating me
That is an interesting fear as well as image
God I miss you. I want to fuck your face... Then do all the girly cuddly shit too.
Dumb decision of the night...walking home drunk and smelling my pepper spray
Both guys that I'm dating were waiting for me in the parking lot after work. Literally the most awkward situation I have ever been in
I woke up at 3am, top off, with campus security telling me to get dressed. Tonight was a GOOD NIGHT
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