I almost took home a boy from the bar last night, till i realized he was not speaking drunk, he was from another country and didnt know english. that could have been an awkward morning.
dollar beers will do that to you.
Did you dl zombie porn on my computer?
Nights of college: 1. Virgins: 1. Yes.
my vagina's been through so much this weekend
you mean so much has been through your vagina this weekend?
I'm coming over to use your dick. I need to take my aggression out on something. Hope that's cool.
Yes, that's a picture of my balls. It isn't however an answer to my question.
Some mysterious chinese delivery man dropped off 2 free egg rolls. Clutch
I'll start choreographing the sperm rain dance now
You need to get over here. I think the drunks are about to sacrifice a chicken to the beer gods. Or a freshman. Stay tuned.
"Shots" of grape juice. I fucking hate Utah soooo fucking much.
Of all the things I've masturbated to while high, my favorites are ritz chips and trees
Then while I was crying on his shoulder, he got a boner. Soo. I kinda just hopped on.
I made him watch the first 5 episodes of Game of Thrones before I decided to sleep with him.
I woke up with a chicken in my yard
Do you not remember hopping the fence into a chicken coop and screaming "choot em'"like you were on swamp people?
No recollection, can you come help me shut this thing up
I'm intrigued by how his mouth tasted the same as his dick.
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