First, he can't make me cum.. And now, he can't get it up because he LOVES me?!!??! i don't think so.
I was just about to go down on her when she gave herself a "smell check" and said "no, not today".
she's not going to take you seriously with an empty 40 and a sombrero on your head.
Just looked at my outgoing calls. Seems I had a 7 minute convo with my 10th grade english teacher at 2:56 am Saturday...
I just had a flashback of 4:30am: me hugging the toilet bowl and you handing me a jar of pickles to open. There is something seriously wrong with us.
Finals week has gone away, doo dah doo dah, drink martinis naked day oh da doo dah day
You should've come to the party. It was like an identity parade of everyone you screwed last year.
posting about faith hill is really not helping you get me into your bed
Did I run into a tree or get punched in the face?
Both.
I'm so fucking horny right now If I blink I might cum
Nothing like banging your nurse in the shower while staying in the hospital
Just made out with the guy who gave me my tour. Full circle college win.
Nothing wrong with a few meaningless hookups. Keeps the mind occupied and the body satisfied
I think the moment she woke up butt naked on a mattress with her phone still on her face was the point she knew last night was fucked up
I think it's a bit on the nose for the Uber driver to play stairway to heaven while driving like A psycho.
Randomize
