Remember that time I came into your room after taking a muscle relaxant and we argued about what state has the longest coastline?
So I got my period. Finally. In related news, I reinstated my belief in God.
all we need is a shotglass and a helicopter.
i wish semen tasted like chocolate
We were dancing and she was clawing my stomach like a fat kid getting to a half broken pinata.
Walking in on a gay threesome, with a girl in the corner watching and taking vid is a reason to not only knock, but to never go to Savannah.
I'm literally taking a shit naked holding a bottle of wine.
My dick looks like crazy bread
pics are now mandatory
Hahahaha yep. You were picking up the credit card machine and singing to it in Spanish.
Well I didn't know she was a dominatrix...so I kind of just went with it
Good god, my descendants are going to be fucked.
Yeah. I hurt his pride. But he's not over it. And by it I mean me.
Stop thinking about me and go on your date... at least I got the glitter off your face first.
i'm growling thTa how much i wNn slwwwp.
save me some of whatever you're doing i'll be there in five.
Who did he bring home?
Idk. But did you see her shoe choice by the stairs, I'm really not expecting anything great.
Randomize
