I just put a condom on my dildo so i wouldng get another uti....most depresIng moment of.my LIFE
This isn't the rejection hotline, is it?
Aren't I supposed to sit on your face?
We just made watching Intervention into a drinking game. We drink everytime someone does drungs.
the best part about watching a meteor shower at 4 am is being able to masturbate in public and drink hot chocolate at the same time.
Dude, everyone in your family has slept with that girl. Her vagina is like the Hindu version of a Bar Mitzvah.
the way i see it him paying 500 bucks for my fake abortion is karma's way of punishing him for cheating on his wife
Things got a little weird when he fired up his homemade flamethrower in the living room.
she has her graduation year in her skype name, it's like a constant reminder that she's jail bait.
whatever. i don't care. i just want to be drunk wrapped in an american flag.
If I don't have the money by then, I'll pay you in sex.
It's going to be 23.5 times of sex and 19 blow jobs. I just googled it.
im far more worried about your salsa intake than your weed intake
His pick-up lines are quotes from Doctor Who. Of course I fucked him.
I think tonight's gonna be the night I wear a go pro while trippin on acid
He was a foot taller than me and my hands were bigger than his, it's called Pity head
Randomize