Well I'm going to a gay club in my banana suit. You should come. My bro is going as a pirate. I don't know if there's a theme.
I'm having a terrible night. Can I sleep over?
Too tired to pretend that I care : (
Most awkward thing ever: Meeting your BattleShits opponent post war.
seems the shocker is way more shocking if u get the fingers wrong
Katie is reenacting me jizzing in her eye via emoticons...
It's officially time to start saving up weed money for the NCAA tournament
You don't even know the meaning of faking an orgasm until you sleep with an uncircumcised ginger.
while we were making out your friend starting kissing my toes and all you had to say was "just go with it"
yeah a little bit of me felt bad about it. But the rest of me was having sex with him.
Do you think the neighbors will know I was the one giving out the penis shaped lollipops to the children?
The venue for the new years party is close to the hospital for obvious reasons.
I feel like my chances would have been better if I hadn't told her "I need to fuck you before you leave."
NATIONAL GIVE A BOSTON COP A BLOW JOB BITCH ROAD TRIP NOW
Would it be weird to jack off in the hospital?
When we were finished she immediately got up, cut a star out of a piece of paper, colored it gold, taped it to my chest and deemed me the Sheriff of Sex.
Randomize