how can you tell if its a queef or a fart from that close?
I think id rather eat ped egg shavings.
Singing into hair straightener during spice girls....sooo dangerous
I got to stop making out with my boss at work. I think we should just get it overwith, be dissaponted and move on.
you made pancakes with beer, you said they were good. then you threw up 15 minutes later
just tried to pee in the sink at wendys...need to stop letting my drunk habits get into my sober life
Please please please tell me that is not a pringles container full of pee that your little brother just got a hold of.....
He said "I wish they sold 40's in bars".. and a business plan came to mind. Maybe I CAN do something with my degree...
I'm wearing a shirt that says "birthday girls #1 homo" ...what has my life come to?
I got really upset at the McDonald's worker. They should serve nuggets 24/7. Apparently 5am is breakfast for some people.
I'm at the bar, forgot my pants. Everyone's over reacting
I walked into the living room this morning and he was there with 3 shots in a row. He said it was "tea time."
was his pinky out?
He's such a neat freak that he started making the bed while I was still laying on it naked. He succeed in case you were wondering.
How am i even supposed to meet his daughter? "Hi, Claire, I hear we have so much in common, like we both love your Dad and also we're almost the same age."
But then our conversations are like black box recordings. Just the stuff you hear when the plane is going down
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