Brickbreaker makes my post drinking poops that much better. Sorry, I had to tell someone who might agree.
Prostitute standing on the corner thrusting at cars as they drive by. New marketing strategy?
my life trainwreck boards at 9:30
Corey Haim died. 80's me is so sad
Chick stood right next to me in the elevator. Like she had the whole elevator and she stood right next to me. So I farted.
How is it that you get into at least one taco related fight a year?
That ACT prep teacher knew i was hung. I could see it in her eyes.
You know what, don't say anything. You all made fun on me for saying I would fuck him junior year when he taught us algebra and six years later, HERE I AM.
Sometimes you've gotta crawl to stay concious
he kept insisting he didn't have my number, so i called his phone and my number came up as "yeaaaaaaaaah!"
I wish there was a morning after pill for dominoes.
All my friends are getting into relationships and going through breakups and I'm having Plan Bs and crunch wraps for dinner.
As you were leaving you yelled at the owners that the stairs weren't suitable for "intoxacapated" people and promptly fell down them.
So I WAS right.
I just took a shot before my midterm. Gotta keep things in perspective.
I am drunk shake weighting right now.
Randomize
