Don't make out with my wife yet
its 4th on my favorites list. 1. butt sex 2. mini skirts 3. three meat pizza rolls 4. fuck the pain away by peaches
I can hear my liver begging me not to go out tonight
HAPPY NEWYEARSM FAGTRON! GETTING HEAD IN TAXI I WIN
just spent the last 4 hours covering his room in sticky notes. Viva Drunk Thursdays.
I'm off the liquor
You're forefathers are ashamed of you. They didn't struggle to make it to America so that you could become a soft dick
Why we can't turn this into a healthy friendship where I cheat on my boyfriend with you and you feel better knowing everything wrong with my life is beyond me.
The cab driver was nice enough to let you finish your beer in the car, but you crossed the line when you started to pee in the empty bottle
There a special place in hell for drunk criers. A special FUCKING PLACE
He is what would appear if the douche troop all had rings and we summoned someone like the Captain Planet kids.
How do we stop her downward spiral?
Wine. For us.
She said she's different now I guess anytime you get a bible tatt it automatically cancels out all the whoring you did for 10 years
Get off the floor, put away the cookie dough, get ur shit together Scott.
please tell me he didn't just scream 'i am the yiff lord' at the cops
IT WAS A FUCKING ELEPHANT I SWESR!!!!!
Nathan, I haven't spoken to you in 12 years and it's 6am. Kindly fuck off.
Randomize
