ive had 594 apples! thats 99 apples 6 times! math!
Getting drunk in a different country is not a good idea. Lets just say spanish women, 17 yr olds from missouri, prostitutes, and a poodle. I don´t want to leave spain.
please tell me that the half empty jar of cocktail sauce on the table has nothing to do with my missing seamonkeys
The girl sitting next to me in class is writing her to-do list under the title 11/31.
I'm not going to fuck him in his Honda Fit. That's gay.
Sitting in a bubble bath with my bong, how's your morning?
I hijacked a bellboy cart and rolled into the party dancing on it
They just caught the deck on fire and I ran out with cups off the beer pong table filled with water from the toilet. It was the closest water source.
Whoever said that remembering a girls name is a basic rule for getting laid has never met me.
True but, who really needs money in europe? Just barter with sexual favors. A bowl of cereal is worth a blowjob.
you kept saying "i will not *breathe* regret this *breathe* in the morning *breathe* i just gotta remember *breathe* to BREATHE"
Can you please come and collect your boss off of my kitchen floor.
But I'll just tell people it was a bar fight... Sounds a lot better than "well I was drunk and alone and eating Special K naked in my bed"
Well I shit myself on the way home from work today so there's that...
& he told me that I give the best head ever.. like can I get that on a medal?
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