Pat told us he showed us his penis because he's "a nice guy".
we were having sex in the bathroom when his aunt knocked on the door
and rather than go out and meet her, i climbed out the window. so now she thinks he was masturbating and moaning his own name in a really girly voice
why the FUCK would i wear makeup on my vagina!?
He gave her the shocker .. I didn't know people really did that.
THERE IS PRACTICALLY A BEER FUCKING WATERFALL
A beer fell out of the case, hit the ground and started spraying. He's a pro. He grabbed it and shotgunned it while still holding the case.
You probably don't remember this but last night I bought you a lap dance from a stripper that had nipples that looked like runny eggs....you're welcome.
Can we make a pact that if we're 40 and still sluts that aren't married we can get civil unioned the fuck up and raise an asian baby as our own?
I really shouldn't have to tell you to stop banging your lightsaber on everything while we are in college.
I have no idea how but i got a hold of a blue food dye packet. And proceeded to rub it all over my tits. So yeah i'd say its safe to say i'll be known as smurfette for a while
Well, at least you look pretty when you're disgusted
All I want is dick and wine.
you found yr lighter in yr cleavage and said so that's where you've been all my life
Remember, today is also the anniversary of Harambe's death. D**** out.
Do you know anything about how the saran wrap ended up on my toilet seat?
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