I'd be more interested in girls if they were more interested in anal.
he just payed for our date, after telling him I was leaving early to meet my fuck buddy. is there something lower than friendzone I can stick this guy in?
made out with three guys on the first night of college orientation, just imagine what joys all of next year will hold
Dude you need to stop whoring out my boobs. They are for emergencies only.
He refused my I'm sry gift of ANAL. That's how angry he was.
seriously my hangover is so bad I feel like my eye lashes make blinking a workout
i'm pregaming while finishing a paper on cardio myocyte contractility in mice. i'm kicking finals week's ass right now
Just write off about 10000+ brain cells and 6 months of your lifespan.
Sounds like a normal friday night
since you saved your number in my phone as "the hot chick you met last Friday" I don't know who you are either
This should be a warning to men everywhere: do not send pictures of your erect penis to women you hardly know - they will add cats and send them to all of their friends.
He had "Bad Bitches Only" tattooed above his dick. I don't know his name but I hope I find him again. I also don't feel that I lived up to the challenge.
I dunno what the deal was, but you spent about an hour trying to put your phone charger in the outlet and you were yelling "one plug to rule them all"
He almost got to me tonight but then I was like fuck it I'm going to dance with a teli-tubby on the bar so fuck you
He ate me out for an eternity. Like fell asleep, woke up, and he was still doing it.
It's not even noon yet and I just fucked my professor's son in the psych lab..it's gonna be a great day.
Randomize