i can't help myself.. i am just so in love with the kitchen manager.
...he was wearing JNCO shorts.. i'm pretty sure i saw the dragon.
i just uploaded three hundred pictures and you had your shirt off in two hundred and ninety of them
the remaining ten - you weren't in
He is drunkenly eating my teddy grahms and making little growling noises as he bites the head off of each one.
Drunken horseback riding is the absolute worst decision i've ever made in my life.
It's only been a week and i've already broken my no summer randoms rule twice.
It seems like every guy I've hooked up with all end up hanging out together, its like a cult.
Why do I only have half my beard? My chin is so naked...
Ok more importantly someone in a chicken costume just stepped in front of my car and started breakdancing...
Some chick asked if she could eat me because I'm dressed as a taco. I introduced her to RJ. Best Wingman.
I just woke up to a ten minute voicemail of you sobbing about the X-Men. Stop getting drunk and watching Marvel movies.
BUT WOLVERINE IS SO TORMENTED AND JUST WANTS TO BE LOVED
OMG MY DAD TOLD ME HE MIGHT DO TINDER
Woohoo! Instead of a pregnancy test you can buy me a burrito
Welp just ran into my high school history teacher while buying a pregnancy test...there goes my veil of innocence in this town.
It's one of the few times I hit fuck it levels of not caring
The girl at the liquor store remembered me as "the girl who pays in hundreds" so she didn't ID me
Randomize