he spent the whole night trying to convince me into a2m. i won't even use the pb til i clean the jelly knife. i love him but it's not going to happen.
He said we were driving the golf cart through the woods screaming 'iceroad truckers' for four hours in the dark
The best part was her genuine shock and total "I didn't know" look when we said she couldn't cook a steak in a microwave.
one of the cashiers from Kroger is eating at my kitchen table and nobody knows why.
I'm pretty sure this isn't my phone, but I do like these nude pics
it's like doing a sit-up... but, you're inside someone
Went to get my tattoo today. Found out the piercing girl is bi. I may just get my nipples done to get hit on tomorrow. Confidence is low these days.
On the bright side I still get a $20 referral bonus at the plasma center even though he passed out during donation because he was so high.
If I don't throw up the day I graduate i'll feel like the last 4 years and thousands of dollars spent on alcohol will have been wasted.
how the hell did this chicken wing end up in my cast?!
I expected to wake up with a sext of you posing nude and all I got was a missed call.....disappointed.
I'm sorry I think it was because I lost a chicken nugget in my purse and that's all that was on my mind until 4am
your love of good penises attached to ugly faces is disgusting and slightly disturbing.
Me either. I want to get 'chase a stray cat through the neighborhood in my hooker heels' drunk. And it's your birthday, so you have to get 'best friend holding your hair while you puke in the bar bathroom and cry about your life' drunk. In a feather boa.
Dude she smelled like bar-b-que sauce. I can't think of anything better.
Blame the bisexuality and move on?
Randomize