So now everyone thinks I don't know what a condom is
is swine flu sexually transmttd?
Ha no, why?
sriously ive never had a hangovr this bad
I'm in the dining hall. that same guy is here again, the one who sits alone and talks to his silverware.
I dont think that drinking by ourselves on a saturday night counts as being "fun alcoholics"
i no longer feel bad for not doin my schoolwork. im watching a porn in french. this MUST qualify as studying.
Dont forget the glove box taco bell stash i saved for drunk us.
His words said "save me", but his penis said "I'll take my chances"
Imagine Captain Hook, but in penis form and sometimes shy.
Sometimes I love sober logical me. She makes rare appearances but when she does she shines.
Living room floor. I asked him to give me a back rub. He did. And smoothly transitioned that to foreplay, then basically threw me on the floor. My vagina hurts. He deserves another Christmas present.
If a treadmill opens up I'll run next to him and then fall off so he has to give me mouth to mouth
Oh my god. We just got locked out of our cabin and went to the neighbor's to see if they had a key and caught the neighbor jerking it. My night > your night
Alcohol won't break your heart. I mean, unless it's all gone maybe
Try to fuck my roomie AND steal my slippers: you are no longer my favorite cousin.
I'm unsure if I could pee myself at this point in my life
Randomize