Is it weird that I think of Ennis from Brokeback Mountain everytime I hear "Make em Say" by Master P? "I don't need your money. Huh." NA NA NA NAAA.
Going to eat lunch. Bunch of people in church clothes, and we are hungover, wearing pajamas, and in real danger of puking on the floor. We're about to destroy the ambience of this joint.
he's listed in a fb relationship with a girl born in 1993. i'm too drunk to do the math on that one, but i am sober enough to know that's illegal
So he told me he wanted to fertilize my caviar. Im avoiding all foreign exchange students from now on.
But i don't feel like talking to him right now. I woke up an hour ago to a picture of his penis and I AM NOT A MORNING PERSON.
I told the bartender that he could give me back the tip I gave him if he outsmarted me in a battle of wits. He has yet to challenge me.
Bible prof is the guy I made out with at the gay bar on the fourth. He doesn't remember.
I couldn't find my shirt this morning so I stole one from his eight year old sister. Slutted up my outfit quite a bit.
Need you on the dancefloor. Hungry and lonely.
drinking vodka, listening 2 smh at 530am slow cooking beef stew. you'll enjoy the stew and worry abt me in the morning. bon apatite
Girl re-adjusts bra, no one bats an eye. I re-adjust nuts, everyone stares.
I don't go out. I live in my room watching Bridget Jones and thanking my vibrator for existing.
Note to self: Never spend $8 on a liter of rum again
I need you there. I need someone to glance at when other people inevitably annoy me.
The only reason you haven't shit yourself yet is because you don't like having fun.
Randomize