dude this 15 year old girl saw our youtube vid and just facebook messaged me saying i was verry verry pretty. i have no schemas for how to respond to this situation.
woah 15?
i know! what is this dateline?
The walk of shame is so much worse when you've spent the night third wheeling.
i might even pee on it at walmart i am so nervous
how was your night?
well, i just purchased 'sorry for being a drunk whore' cupcakes. how do you think my night was?
I just mixed tequila and nyquil in front of dad. hes making ambulance jokes but let me tell you its DELICIOUSSS
All was going smooth until he pulled a condom out of his collection he kept in a Cheesy Gordita Crunch Box from Taco Bell.
Apparently I walked to Denny's in the pouring rain without shoes just socks last night. Excellent.
there is a video of me on Facebook getting mad at a trash bin what the fuck was in your Pepsi
I took your mattress from your bed. Don't ask questions. Love you. See ya later.
U have successfully fucked my brains out. I just almost put deodorant on like chapstick
It's official. Those are now your come fuck me flipflops
Long story short I'm making an I'm sorry card for a girl I dont remember having sex with
I should probably apologize for licking you last night since you drove me home, but I stand by my decision
You left your pants here again. 4th time in a row. How can you walk home without pants?
You stocked up?
No actually didn’t get a chance. If you wouldn’t mind bringing me a brownie and a bottle of Jameson that’d be nice
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