maybe touching the ground while going 70 wasn't such a great idea after all..
I REALLY appreciate you guys taking care of me when im wasted but i think its weird when i wake up in different clothes than black out in
You know whats sad? As I walk past the campus daycare i cant help think, look at those drunk mistakes
I think Memorial Day also marks the beginning of "Bikini Profile Picture" season.
Yes, yes she is. This will teach her not to pull her vibrator out and harass people with it at parties.
Going to.goingto.gtoing to DIE DIE DIEEEE......i feel like everyeone impotrant in my life like MLK is judging me.... saddd day
Softest bathroom rug I've slept on in my life, there have been many
My only objective is to get drunk enough to forget the last 364 days.
Did i tell you my idea for my life plan? Not the one that involves stripping.
Note to self, stop going out with self absorbed bisexuals
About to be a 4Loko vomit fountain in 45 seconds, what color will it be? Animated birds will fly out of me.
There's s woman at the corner of the bar dancing by herself in her seat and making eye contact with me. Please hurry.
Good morning love! Friendly reminder that we decided to make leggings with a vagina zipper. "For the winter quickie"
I didn't know where you were for like 15 minutes and then I went in the bathroom splashing water on the mirror and throwing hand towels around saying that you were "redecorating"
You sat down in the middle of the road and started crying. We told you "Get your ass up or we're leaving you here." You replied "They'll findddd meeeeee" and ran after us.
Randomize
