Ryan Reynolds porn could be a WMD. Have a giant TV on the front of your tank, and just drive around playing it. Everyone dies of orgasm overload.
That's it. Iraq is done. Everyone dies, game over man.
We should write a comic book about the many adventures of your vagina. Maybe even give it a cape or something.
so I think he was half asleep, but he woke me up by saying "where's my cow? Is it being shipped?" He must have been dreaming about farmville..
I will never underestimate my ability to drunken ramble. At one point last night i think i was talking about hieroglyphics
Just a heads up: The party is Fourth of July themed. Spread the word
dude its may
Work with me here, man.
you were sitting on the floor eating oats. how should i react?
My spanish isn't great but I'm pretty sure he was calling me a "little monkey" while I was blowing him
This morning I learned I traded my sunglasses for a Big Lebowski sticker at the football game.
I woke up to the sound of gentle rain, only to realize I was laying under a urine trough in the men's restroom. Fuck you, bourbon. Fuck you.
I have to confess something, I may or may not have knocked on your window at 2:30 am while balancing on some guys hands. We found tequila.
You thought that you were playing full contact and started screaming "I will fucking end you! I will end you!" and tried tackling everyone in the room.
I wore a shirt that says "more tequila" to my bday party last year and that's why I want to be my own friend
You're either getting fucked or a coupon to Friendly's. I haven't decided yet.
It just so happens all of their names are Ryan, so I never have to change whose name I moan.
The guy in the room next to me just offered to hide the next dose of morphine he will get for his broken leg under his tongue and then swap it with me in exchange for a roll of the good toilet paper my parent brought for me last they visited. The psych ward is a lot more hardcore than I thought.
Randomize
