That poor girl was naked and had to be at a job interview in an hour
Dude she has a bf and shes on lockdown more than Nelson Mandela in 95
I just saw a hobo ride by on a unicycle. Good day.
I wish you had a penis so you could experience peeing out the window in front of a crowd of people leaving parties.
You never go ass to mouth. That's quite possibly the most important rule Paramedic school has taught me.
Stop treating my vagina like a slapchop.
He took the Gold in Olympic clit licking last night. Canada should be proud.
I think that's the first time Navy dress blues and a Ninja Turtles onesie have been involved in the same makeout.
Sorry about the weird guinea pigs text. I was drunk and they were freaking me out
It's 3 am and I'm buying cat food and batteries for my vibrator. Good thing I shaved my legs for this.
but seriously, an anthropology paper shouldn't be hard if you're trashed, right?
At least you didn’t announce to an entire bar you’ve eaten pussy, and then knocked your beer over.
Yes. He better. Or I will shave a penis into his beard while he sleeps.
Only thing that feels right is being horizontal in the fetal position
she broke the sink..i repeat the sink is off the wall. send help
Randomize