Already got asked if we're dating
I jusy said out loud "gingers unite in the middle of the night"
i wonder if i could find a boyfriend who would call me big papa
sure if you go to prison
Girl in my class with fire painted on her face. I. need. that. weed.
She soaked the fruit in vodka for ten minutes and then mixed it with normal fruit and sherbert icecream. It was called "lottery fruit".
My neighbor is on the his front porch in a robe dipping a popsicle into what appears to be vodka. I want to be his son.
Bring the cards this coming weekend. If I'm not here I died skydiving Friday
I don't think my body can handle the alcohol I want to put in it anymore.
dude she got out of bed and definitely took a shit then checked her stomach out in the mirror and whispered "well that probably took off five pounds"
If there is a ladylike way to throw up in your favorite toilet, I just did it.
I just had the worst experience of my life, my grandma found my condoms.
All I want to do is shower, but there is a keg in there.
I spent three hours in the ER last night to figure out that my friend just had to take a shit
Heard flapping noises behind me. It was my roommate flapping her bathrobe like wings, saying "I'm a faaaiiiiry."
Nate is still in lock up because when the cop informed me he'd shit his pants in the squad car I declined to post bail.
Randomize
