If that was your dad, he is hot
if creeping was an olympic sport, i would be a lock for the gold right now.
Just puked in a mcdonalds cup while driving. Didn't even swerve.
if i dont get laid while im dressed as Tim Tebow, i'm just staying true to the costume.
So i told my advisor i had to drop the class bc the prof said "supposably" and "irregardless" within the 1st 10 minutes of the 1st class; she agreed with me that dropping it was the best choice
protesters in toronto definately have the best pot
Did you make me take pictures of your ass last night because you fucked on some wet paint or did i dream that?
I dont care how drunk you were. Making a bet with MY husband at MY wedding that you could seal the deal before he could is ALWAYS inappropriate!
I deserve a fucking award for best roommate. I just cleaned his room, so he can have a 3 some
I think I died last night.
Yeah, you got carried home
He got too drunk... he threw up ON the closed toilet.
It's a Jersey thing
You left your hot dogs in my dresser again
"Are we not going to talk about how you got so drunk that you swallowed someone's pet gold fish, whole?"
I bought a machete, tennis balls, and matches. How is this NOT going to be a great night?
I can't talk, I can't walk, I think I'm twitching and I'm not even sure if I'm typing this. Help
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