Have you learned any life lessons?
I like big butts and I cannot lie.
Is it awkward that I've slept with every guy in this room?
Only if they know about it too.
Pretty sure that this text will cost me like $5 but just wanted you to know that I just smoked a bowl of kush, about to walk around shopping for hookers and i get 3 credit hours for this study abroad .... have fun studying for finals.
He's married, a coworker, and a smoker. not sure which personal rule broken i'm most ashamed of...
I think I'm on the verge of a really slutty period in my life
You would think that someone would have been sober enough to object to vodka bong races.
please visit steve this weekend, he is getting mature and responsible and shit which scares me.
we spent fifteen minutes trying to convince you that you weren't locked inside of your car
I'm glad we're going to catch up. too bad it's over my vagina.
Has my life seriously led me to day drinking on a Monday the third week of the semester?
It's after 5, it's not day drinking.
How do I know if porn I have watched is haunted?
You yelled "Everybody!!! Round of applause to Jill for not doing anal!!" Right in front of him.
Normally, it will inspire me to work. Today, it's inspiring me to masturbate.
i may have just googled 'is philly rioting right now'
Just woke up beside some twink in a kilt.. how is your sunday going
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