You are a beautiful, beautiful young lady. Your heart is made of tissue, blood and love. I will call you very soon, Princess Sophia.
I need a man. I think Im going to put myself on Craigs list since they caught the killer and all.
Do it and if you add naked pictures youll get an instant reply
I feel like Captain Hook just gave me a pap smear.
you didnt remember my name all night. you kept referring to me as "the blonde with the fat ass"
"must pass the hog line" should not only be used in curling. but also when we go out to pick up girls.
i leave for school in 3 days. if you want your annual goodbye blow job you should probably call me
I left my Thanksgiving family dinner puking in my hands from the worst hangover in the world
I'm fucking an ugly guy. Don't come home.
well now I have to
i'm traumatized. his orgasm face consisted of him looking like my dead grandfather and burping.
Talking to a male stripper. About the LSAT. Only in Vegas.
Yikes. I usually have a 24-hour waiting period between sex partners. You know, like for a handgun.
I'm not saying Tijuana was a bad idea, I'm saying that we make poor life choices. And Steve was robbed by the police.
Visiting Houston was a good decision for my penis.
But no. So do not give him one damn penny. Unless they are in a sock and you are hitting him with it.
I impressed him by taking off my panties without removing my pants.
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