clay aiken is like melissa ehteridge without the guitar.
Something in my vomit makes me think I shouldn't have had that slurpee
As gay men are we obligated to learn the Single Ladies dance.
you drank 3/4s of your half gallon of vodka, made a fort out of the kitchen table, and actaually had sex in in it.
Chinese roommate asked me this a.m when u left if all girls here have multiple boyfriends..
...that's why he's not doing anything with his life except breeding geckos
Just bought all my wine for the weekend with a check at 11am. I'm almost judging myself.
She had another shot and asked if I wanted to taste her tongue ring. Then I helped her pee.
karaoke mosh pit has descended into fisticuffs, send backup
She insisted we fuck to Ludacris, not how I imagined popping her lesbian cherry would be. I tried delt and I liked it.
I knew it was going to be good when he took off my bra and I only realized 5 minutes later
I am honestly trying to remember his name. All I can remember is that he had a weird mole, a daughter and a lot of cocaine. Please stop letting me pick up at gay night.
It's a little weird that I'm blowing my wingman.
correction: my vagina hates that I'm smart.
Okay, the good news, found Jared, all IDs accounted for, Jack is meeting us at yours with your requested the delivery. The bad news: Lost Alice, banned from Stages, possibly fucked my TA in the bathroom.
Randomize
