never have i ever had a craving for dick this badly
you haven't felt a hangover until you wake up after a night of snorting tequila.
Escorted a stripper to her car last night,and all I got was a "Thanks" and "Go Steelers."
Just sneezed out a half gram of coke into a tissue. Four hours after the fact. The bender continues.
Turns out that my surprise "happy birthday" drop-in for my dad turned into a "my parents like afternoon sex a lot" realization.
ill be fine wheb you get back. I'm gunna do real world things like washing the dishes. having to perform serious tasks brings you down.
My living room is scattered with glow sticks wrappers, sparklers, face paint & beer cans?
It's not as cool looking when the drugs wear off, is it?
The bad news is tonight is also a blue moon, ergo, latin, I will have to get 'once in a blue moon' drunk which I feel is significantly more dangerous than IPO drunk
im in the post action - pre consequence stage.
I like dinosaurs. I like penises. It's kind of a win win
Eating power bars and masterbating... That's kinda my life right now. Is this what having a boyfriend means?
He compared my ass to "a 13 year old track star's ass." Umm WTF? Is that supposed to be a compliment? And when I questioned boy or girl he said "either."
We poured all the Fireball on the Slip and Slide and long story short I have two black eyes.
A log hopped out of the fireplace and caught the carpet on fire. Good summary of this election if you ask me.
I accidentally put Bacardi in my coffee this morning. I ain't even mad.
Randomize
