Did you see Brett Michaels get knocked on his ass?
Hurt me personally.
Knocked his cowboy hat off... Bandanna was still good though
im learning from these one night stands last time i came in her this time i came on her AND deleted every contact in her phone!
You know how i spent all of black friday on the plane? Well guess who's getting a x-mas gift from skymall?!!??
Don't worry. This time I'll get black out drunk so they'll just think it's an American thing.
... Already stepped in vomit and got a dirty look from a fat in a neck brace
Tell me you didn't really piss in the hookah.
It's like shitshowville, population: those girls.
Remember that time i gave you head on MY birthday and you made me stop so you could watch the rhino part in 300
How the fuck does a person bruise an armpit? I swear to god, I get the lamest drunk injuries.
Speaking of, what are you doing next weekend? I'm going to a rope bondage seminar and may need a partner if my date bails.
Wanna have a sleepover and take me to court in the morning?
I just remembered something. We made out last night, people cheered.
Dad literally changed the channel from an episode of Big Bang Theory to another episode of Big Bang Theory. That's why I hate this show.
I am certain that you would be a mere freckle on the behemoth of slutty that has taken place at this complex.
I brought my porn computer to class by accident
How much porn do you watch if you need a special computer?
Randomize
