When you only buy popcorn and condoms at the grocery store they know whats up.
How you know a guy is gay: they say they would want money, not sexual favors, from emma watson
It is obvious to me now why clam chowder & beer aren't a good combo.
Just found out that wake n bake is not one of the 7 habits of highly effective people..
my mothers day present is going to be not puking at the table during brunch
I just sniffled when I woke up and got a bump of coke. I have never felt so good hung over.
Tipped our cab with a photo booth pic of us, a paper dollar, a dollar in quarters, a crest white strip. And a tanning pass valid in boston
I dont know how to respond to your rave picture. I mean yeah, he's hot, but it just seems wrong to be like "Please tell me you fucked that guy with the pacifier!"
Stolen hampster on my tits. Don't tell me I don't know how to party.
His cuteness will no longer contol my vagina
I said geronimo as I came I'm not sure if he appreciated the doctor who reference or was just confused
We shouldn't eat pizza in the pool
We r drinking tequila out a glass bottle and smoking weed underwater, pizzas the least of our concern
I do NOT want to date a man who has no interest in going to a kangaroo farm
Yeah, I'm sure we have time for sex AND ihop.
All of my friends are talking about changing their lives because they have an alcohol addiction and I'm over here reminding my boss that it's national beer day.
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