Done. Eyebrows are waxed, entire body shaved
she's in the bathroom throwing up right now...what is the hookup protocol after she is done? what all can I do with her?
Just pulled an upper-decker at a hardware store. I believe I'm winning 8-2. It's obvious you don't shit enough in public.
I knew it was time to stop when you guys were playing a drinking game called "every three steps take a drink"
No just sleep deprived. James woke me up at 7 and forced me to eat a hot pocket with him cause he " didn't want me to die".
He was wearing a tux and a big sombrero so it automatically made the flute he was playing totally cool
COME HERE WE MELTED A CORONA BOTTLE WITH FIREWORKS
New guy at the liquor store was inexplicably fascinated by our huge jug of williams. First he said what are you gonna mix THAT with? and looked confused when I said air.
I mean my dick does have feeling again, which is a step in the right direction
She has a bong hits for Jesus shirt. Of course I'm going to like her.
my roommate woke me up with head. more awkward than it sounds.
My early Valentine's Day one night stand just took an uber home. Thank you, technology, for letting me enjoy this day in peace. 😍
Sorry my friend with benefits tried to run you over with his car
I'm pretty sure that waking up butt ass naked with a bottle of 151 and a note that said "I didn't want to wake you up, but thanks" proves I had a good time....god bless America
If it makes you feel any better, I can't find the goldfish I dropped like five minutes ago.
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