He said i was a degenerate twofaced catholic slut and a grade a bitch. Quite complimentary really. i guess i shouldn't insult the red wings
Oh no. He has the "I'm 30 years old and I just shit myself in public" face.
you were licking his little sister's watercolors and trying to paint with your tongue.
You were too busy being proud of your penis shaped pancakes to notice...
On the bright side I still get a $20 referral bonus at the plasma center even though he passed out during donation because he was so high.
Do you know what's great about Canada?..... There will always be a Tim Hortons on my walk of shame route
The penis is a tricky weapon to use. When using it as leverage you have to make it seem emotional. I'd rather use it as a club sometimes.
You sent me a picture of you holding a goat then asked me if I would have day sex
Rush week is fine, only the t-shirts are white and if it rains, the frat boys in their lawn chairs will be treated to 800 freshmen girls in their first wet tshirt contest.
Welcome to college.
should I tell them that both of them had sex with me last Saturday? it might be a relationship builder type of thing you know?
BTW, you ever shave a dick into my dog, I'll cut you. I'll laugh first, but then I'll cut you
Somehow I became in charge of getting my mother laid? This can't be my life? Lol
Seriously. If I'd known all it took was a 29 year old UPS guy to make me feel THIS SEXY, I'd have been fucking them for 30 years.
Do you want to talk about dinosaurs?
He called me 'pal' while complimenting how well I took his load on my face. I've officially been fuckbuddy-zoned.
Randomize
