i'm trying to reconcile what i did last night with who i am as a person.
i have yet to find a random guy that would make me want to do any position besides missionary, these are what normal people call "applying standards"
he was so hot that i framed the used condom. it's not trash, it's art.
I just had a dream where Bob Saget recognized me from when I hung out with him in a dream I had months ago.
I can't really talk right now. I'm getting on a plane to Oregon to go give a guy a bj. I'll see you in three days.
Dude. The walls are totally staring at me right now. I told you this was a bad idea.
Dude you have to come get or im gonna nail this 64 y/o woman as repayment for buying me shots of jager
I'm gonna give him birthday punches. On the dick. With my mouth.
So help my penis see only you. Give him some attention as well.
People were staring and acting all judgmental and offended... Like they've never seen anyone breastfeed in a liquor store.
The bachelor party was supposed to stay local but I think were in mexico.
Went home w the NY Islander in a NY Rangers jersey, needless to say he was pissed
Dude so help me god I WILL weigh a penis one day
If you fuck up my birthday by dying I will kick your fucking corpse.
he's trapped himself under a bed and is screaming at a robot dog to give him a blowjob
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