how lazy do you have to be to be a fat vegetarian?
I have before 2 am pics and after 2am pics, which do you want to see first?
My cousin just asked what abortion is. Happy Holidays.
I was informed last night that im not allowed to pick up the bouncers and carry them around anymore. Last sat is starting to make more sense
why is my new profile picture on Facebook one of me with a bunch of strangers on an elevator?
Between my sister puke and rallying at the bar and my brother sending a drunk passed out naked pic in which his dick was exposed, I don't know which sibling to be more proud of this weekend.
I just discovered I can sober up while teaching class
according to the video, you won you first drunken karaoke contest based off of your actual singing abilities and not because you took your shirt! I've never been prouder :)
Just gave my pregnant cat a safe sex talk. That high.
Do you think it's safe to mix miralax with a tequila sunrise?
Yeah when I texted her last night the only response I got was "stoned eating cobbler."
New rule: if you don't think racism exists, you don't get to put your penis inside me.
I threw up in my brother's Easter basket
Well, if it's rabies, your lips will swell just prior to the frothing. Get a lot of good pics!
Yo I'm lookin at the cows. They're just fucking docile things
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