Yeah I'm pretty much like lane on gilmore girls except my mom doesn't look so mean all the time.
i just watched my husband get a prostate exam. sex is ruined for me.
I just gave some chick my debit card to put in the jukebox. She better put out.
she screamed"i told you already! counter clockwise spiral and the clockwise spiral!!" right in the middle of sex
wow, i never thought dating a choreographer would be so harsh
Second day of summer classes and i already got this girl to send me nudes during class
that is WHY your in summer classes
worth it
No she had like 2 shots and started ironing her clothes and whispering random shit in my ear
halloween is the only time that anne boleyn, the joker, a cowgirl, and a mexican man complete with sombrero and poncho can all hit the same blunt
Today I'm judging my level of singleness on a scale of one to eat-a-can-of-frosting. It's not looking good for me.
Ooooh. Get funfetti
preface to our conversation: my vagina hurts.
I had her buy me a cock ring, so we might test that out. We are presently playing yahtzee.
Cock rings and yahtzee. Like peanut butter and jelly.
I'm on day 4 of clean eating. I call it the "whore by June" program
Considering all of my stomach contents ended up in my center console, I'm a bit peckish.
I legit just swiped right with a Tinder feminist just to get in an argument with her. Soo that's my Friday night so far...
I just watched a squirrel take down a snake,life isn't so bad after all.
I just racked up a fucking ginormous hospital bill because I came so hard I had an asthma attack
Randomize
