i'm trying to reconcile what i did last night with who i am as a person.
I will be horny for about another two hours. Feel free to call me until then.
my 3 year old cousin just woke up screaming "IT WON'T GO DOWN!'
so last night my mother drunkenly told me that maybe the reason why I want to be a vet was because I was conceived doggy style.
i just identified you from a description of your pipe
she's into porn, im staying here tonight
this is going to sound stupid but when I was drunk and thought I was a stripper where I did toss my pants?
well tonys high enough to be moving from spot to spot around the kitchen shooting tortellini into a boiling pot and yelling "KING JAMES" whether he makes or misses it.
She is the perfect woman. She cooks, gives good head and doesn't care that I have a small penis.
you were drinking a pitcher of what you called "16 loko" and making everybody guess what the secret ingredient was
It's ok for me to have his baby but I can't be his friend on fb. Wth is wrong with this
Fuck going to see The Hunger Games tonight. The only thing I'm hungry for is some dick. Let's go to the bar.
Good news. That bum you thought that died is alive.
I feel like we should apologize to the light saber. We were REALLY inappropriate with it last night.
He fucked me on the hood of my car outside his work, and now I'm paranoid that the doggie day care next door might have security cameras.
Randomize
