um. i met him on myspace...we text now, he lives down the street
Im at the hospital with monitors on and a giant green top hat. i blew a 24somethin. Im fucked.
I feel like I could be a daytime drinking legend, like they could put that shit on my tombstone and right now your preventing me from reaching my full potential
Walk-of-shaming home in that dress you got arrested in. Six guys called out your name when I walked past. I've never been more proud of us.
Osama's death just kick started our Cinco de mayo celebration. Margaritas for anyone wearing red white and blue!
I smell like fire and strippers. Successful sunday funday.
I was looking at your puke while I was peeing in it the next morning and that ceasar salad did not treat you well
Just did it in a room with glowing stars to Peter Gabriel's down to earth on shrooms. This is like god
i will not be out-irished. not this night. if i don't wake up tomorrow handcuffed to a hospital bed, i have failed my ancestors.
I think I'm still high. And I definitely still smell like lobster, so there's that
Did you put Adderal in the fishtank in the lobby? The fish are acting like Olympic sprinters. Asshole.
she was concerned about my dick piercings.
One door closes, one man cooks for you through the next open door
Some bitch is passed out in a pool of vomit. Fucking lightweight, it's only 8.30.
Oh, wait.. That's you.
Bahahaha I just turned on the fan in front of the elliptical to avoid puking//try to get some baywatch hair going and the guy next to me thanked me because he was "getting nauseas from the smell of stale sweat and tequila"
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