well apparently i yelled MY VAGINA WAS ANNIHILATED and his whole family heard
My workout was carrying 2 cases home from the grocery. It's Bowl Week.
i was holding a cup in her face for her to throw up in while screaming THIS IS THE DEFINITION OF FRIENDSHIP
Doing a circuit workout and using a power hour playlist for my 1 minute timers. I am getting old. creative, but old.
Hearing them have a conversation is like listening to water buffalo have sex. Awkward and scarring.
I guess she fell asleep at the strip club and the other one was crying because she had a vagina in her face. Happy 21st!
Thank you <3 he just looked at me, fist bumped me, and asked me what was on my titty....we may cut her off
The profile of her ass is just unreal. Weird way to use profile I know, but never more accurate
I just went on etsy and my personalized suggestions on the page were either kinky sex restraints or baby things. I feel like etsy just summarized my life.
just yelled CURVEBALL at my nightie because it turned out to be a pair of shorts
I'm currently trying to figure out a way to fill the bathtub up with mashed potatoes so when he comes over he'll know what's about to hit him..
Um so I might have accidentally on accident maybe blew up the bottom half of your truck...
I don’t have the time, patience, or blood alcohol level to deal with her.
You wouldn't eat with utensils. You insisted on making your own spoon out of a bendy straw and staples while singing "I'm a survivor" by Destiny's Child.
I’m glad they have a happy marriage but why do they have to inflict it on the rest of us?
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