I didnt pay $190 for a fake with a new middle name of Vane..
I could literally track my booty calls if I ever got knocked up by my parking tickets
it's sad when i round the corner and the dog goes directly for the liquor store
We just saw him running from campus police a few minutes ago. So no, I don't think he's still passed out on the quad.
Will you be topless? That will affect my answer.
It smelled like mall pretzels. Of course I investigated.
Didn't get to fuck her. Had to leave abruptly through window. Explain later.
Almost just got kicked out of a bar because the locals spilled beer everywhere when we taught them to shotgun.
Wouldn't it be fantastic if the corporate world cared less about about our GPA and focused more on our mastery of social drunkenness?
The novelty of Nekkid Straight Roommate has faded.
Did I get stoned on a sunday afternoon and speak to someone on the phone for an hour about cats and their behaviour? Glad you asked. And yes.
It is no longer St. Patrick's Day. I should NOT still have green boobs!
Come get your sister, she's waving a shoe about and threatened to "teabag the Shit" out of the doorman because she can't check the shoe in.
They have one of those claw machines here... with a dildo in it...
Also I know now I was meant to be a comedian. Had both arresting officers laughing.
Randomize
