She had hickeys... what's up with that?? HAHAHA
5 Four Lokos being cheaper than a case should be illegal.
He passed out mid-signature
Did i throw a brick at someone last night?
we had incredible sex, then he proposed with the vibrating cock ring
Listening to Joy Division and applying for Walmart. You get to choose which one is more depressing.
you broke a plate. told her her wedding china was ugly and you were doing her a favor. then proceeded to break every plate you could get your hands on.
My mom's 50 year old alcoholic friend just told me about how she was more whoreish then us at our age. Challenge accepted.
I need you to stand in the corner and ref this threesome. Wear stripes.
I feel awful
Physically or morally
Physically. The only immoral thing I did was steal money from strippers while they gave me lapdances.
Think I just saw your homeless guy on High Street. Did you give him back his crutch?
The taxi driver was going on about how many drunk chicks want to sleep with him when he drives them home. Not sure if he was bragging or hinting
think he just told me if I need to shit I should go outside.
Dude, we apparently put a washing machine drum in that back of your truck with the full intention of making a bonfire in it.
Dude, my back STILL hurts from carrying the team on BP last night.
Randomize
