Are you kidding me. My sex life has diminshed to having wet dreams about jerking off.
when i told him i was pregnant with his baby he texted me 'congradulations'
i pity the fetus.
so this was truly a case of the blacked out leading the blacked out.
i have this gut feeling friday is going to be interesting.\nAnd by interesting I mean I feel like im going to get punched in the face by his girlfriend.
You're cordially invited to the love nest for alcoholic and aquatic adventures. Also known as an all expense paid trip to my pool, alcohol, and vagina.
ttyl tear gas
who dressed up as a cop at your party???
idk I have to check. Why?
he gave me the best strip search of my life. FIND HIM.
after giving head I just always feel like I need like. ice cream. as both a means of getting the lingering sperm out of my mouth, and a congratulations.
I would reevaluate a bf who is happy with other guys doing me.
found one of my socks in the dishwsaher... xanax
I have a guy for practically everything... except for making me waffles on demand. will u be my waffle guy?
He just said Bill Nye is just a dude. If I ever considered sleeping with him, I never will now.
I’m at that point in my trip where I’m kinda hot, kinda cold and I have to remember to breathe.
sorry for the late response. was in jail for 6 months.
I don't wanna see it, I don't wanna touch it, I just want it in me.
Randomize
