i think guys can sense when i'm not wearing underwear
He booked his flight from Dallas already, no ticket to the game, said hes gonna bang some girl at tailgait to get a ticket, I had to explain that it will be sub 20 degrees F during tailgate, he decided to come in july instead, Texans are dumb.
it's like i can feel the ghost of his dick still inside me
How much explanation does bbqsexapalooza need?
just added God to my list of friends who can only see my limited profile on facebook. its such a relief to know that He can't watch me fuck up my life anymore.
Someone said we're out of ice. You collapsed on the spot and started sobbing, saying 'but where will all the polar bears live". That drunk.
This place doesnt have redbull or serve shots. Its like they are at war with fun.
Are you being sarcastic? I can't tell this time because you're in the hospital.
found inexpensive tickets to Norway. Questioning if its legal. PLEASE tell me you remebered the walkie talkies and face paint.
His penis will pick the quickest route to vagina. it's like an biological onstar.
i saw the poster for your lost tequila... what a shame
I am significantly less than sober now. Gonna make like, ten hotdogs.
Ugh contemplating vodka and chocolate protein powder as this Capri sun and vodka isn't really cutting it
According to my snapchat story, I tore a fake wig off a security guard and ran away with it.
Im experiencing the awkward moment after realizing two of my straight female friends have had sex with each other
Randomize
