My wife says its no good to have oral sex during pregnancy. So i guess pregnancy is like regular life.
She wouldn't go home with me cause I forgot her name. I didn't realize it would matter after she danced with her vagina on my face
You hit on the cop telling him you were celebrating the anniversary of your 21st birthday and ur boob job... That's how he got ur #
ah tequila...
like a dude with a badge in a golf cart is gunna do shit. Unless he has a tazer. Then it's fair game.
I'm not sure any amount of coworker judgement will keep me from eating oatmeal with dinosaur eggs.
She was rubbing her face on the carpet, she was high.
Great sex, the promise of us mixing our excellent genetics in the future, and access to drugs are mainly what's holding this relationship together at the moment
I think I'd be more bothered by his cross dressing if I wasn't secretly into women..,
you don't go into accounting for the pussy....
it’s not easy to sexualize brunch. work with me, babe.
I just puke and rallied at my anniversary dinner #winning
Can't meet up at the party. Gary was caught by the cops attempting to drop a deuce thru his ex wife's Subaru via sun roof. Details as soon as bail is processed.
I'm literally naked with a whole pizza in my lap sitting in my chair.
It was the scariest thing ever having a flame that close to my balls...
So what happened at girls night? My roomate found me passed out locked out on the front steps of the house and it was raining. Yes low moment
Randomize