He had personality for days, but cock for only minutes
I'm pretty sure there is a country song about this exact situation
just found my old 10th grade stash of beer in a shoebox. guess who's getting trashed tonight
What I wanna know is who took a picture eiffel towering her?
it was like i was on a global safari of uncircumcised men
We are not buying weed off a guy from the internet.
Confirmed. Vegetarians give terrible head.
He bought me Ben & Jerrys and then apologized for the fact that he was going to fall asleep before we could have sex
Something's wrong. My throat is definitely not in it's normal spot. Way too low.
Oh you have a half-brother? Why that's right up my alley! Let's cause family strife
Tearing families apart since 2011.
I guess she fell asleep at the strip club and the other one was crying because she had a vagina in her face. Happy 21st!
I don't know anybody that can get the cops to drive them back to the bar after being pulled out of a tree
it happenes
So I got offered a job this morning based on being a "good role model for girls" and I am drunk at 330 in the afternoon in "celebration." sometimes, life is insane. But not so bad.
Ate 5 hotdogs today. You need to get me back on my tequila diet cause this shit has to stop!
Someone made a mask out of a crown royal bag. Can't decide if tacky or awesome.
Randomize
