I'm buying a chandelier at walmart. WHO'S CLASSY NOW, BITCHES.
how do you tell someone you stalk them in a non-creepy way
you don't.
I have a page in my 2010 scrapbook dedicated to pictures of his cock.
i woke up with my wallet keys and phone missing and a treasure map to find them stapled to my shirt.
haha i know
begin the sex magic rocket ship countdown
Tell Chris I said sorry for yelling "It's my vagina, let me do what I want with it!" at the party last night.
Our lady landlord called. Dot worry, I handled it. Drunk. Tell her it was Nate. Done. Good. Bye. Drunk.
It sounds like I am drunk, but I am not. I just have a concussion.
I told him I was very thankful for what his country has done to my vagina and walked away.
But college guys get to crossfade so there's that
No idea what that is
Like getting bent? When you drink and smoke together...
I'm 30 stop using your cool kids words
At tuba camp, the pickings are slim. It's like being the tallest midget.
But yesterday I literally met half his family buzzed wearing a cheeta print bathing suit super short shorts and a tiny tank top.. I was like awesome
I'm high, watching "Scream" and eating a grilled cheese sandwich off my boobs. I'm not going anywhere
Come on, clusterfuck. Put on a pushup bra and get your fine ass to the bar, or you will be a sad single stoner forever
If drinking had a "new high score" I think I hit it this weekend.
No I'm not high but I did cry for over an hour tonight because I realized that they never made a sequel to "Under the Tuscan Sun" with Diane Lane.
Randomize
