I masturbated on the webcams with my bf yesterday then typed without washing my hands first... then my roommate used my laptop it was pretty priceless
Best feeling in the world? holding your pee all day for a negative preggo test
he likes ron paul.... that's all i'm going to say....
He told me he had an exgf. and didnt follow up with"and now i like guys."
it was great that she threw up because that made me the only one trying to hook up with her
I still don't understand how I went from crying to blowing you in like two minutes.
Best dream ever last night. You moved here. Your Spanish name meant highway. Your favorite food was styrofoam.
The sun is gonna brush it's hairy dick across my forehead in the morning, gently whispering: "you're 4 hours late for work"
After we had breakup sex it took him longer to say goodbye to my boobs than it did to me...
After this week, alcohol is mandatory.
I just ate cream cheese straight for my dog
I'm afraid to ask what that means
You are free to stop by. I promise to keep my penis in my leather pants
It's has to do with my genitals. Don't ask.
just had sex in the back of my high school auditorium #dreamcumtrue
Just had the biggest masturbatory crisis ever.
What does that mean?
Internet is down.
Randomize
