Adam has been drinking
Who has his phone
Adam does
in spanish class. the girl next to me asked what Galapagos were. i told her they were islands. now she thinks Galapagos means islands in spanish
i think of them as a grilled chicken salad and a fried chicken biscuit. obviously Amy is better for me, but when i'm eating her all i can think about is how much better the blonde must taste.
I don't care what anyone says I want strippers at my funeral.
I drink more single than I do in relationships. Except with assface.
Just ate a chocolate chip cookie upside down. This is what having a degree does for you.
You know you come from good stock when you can have a family discussion about excuses to scam pain pills from the doctors
Almost ran over girl selling candy bars for charity. Pretty much obligated to buy at that point.
Dude, we tried to feed you but you just started sobbing and ran away
watched my neighbor eat five yodels, mow his lawn, and then cry on his porch after the party... what did you give him?
You can't just be this socially awkward and sexually frustrated and jealous as a fucking demon and be expected to stay sober.
i don't know what body building stuff he's on, but his cum is basically a 5 hour energy shot.
Tonight I'm getting fucked up for America because Lord knows we need it.
It's been so long since I had sex I might propose to the next girl who will sleep with me.
It may be a corded vibrator from the 90s but it gets the job DONE
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