Who were the five players on the alien team from space jam?
There's a fat drunk walrus bitch here next to me and shes already puked and now falling on herself
OH FUCK NOW HER BOYFRIEND IS MAKING OUT WITH HER VOMIT HOLE
Sounds like a good blink 182 concert...
All i remember is people cheering me on to drink faster than the dog, out of the dog's bowl. I just couldn't stop.
He passes out, I smoke his kush. All's fair in love and a disappointing lack of sex.
That girl that gave me a blowjob, I think I fired her last year.
They have chocolate covered tequila candy at work. This is not a drill. May be drunk by noon.
Another reason why I like dubstep now, it makes me feel even higher than I already am.
Looks like a took a video of myself beating off and passed out last night. I'm classy.
If you're going to drink sriracha straight from the bottle whilst crying, at least wear the giant sombrero for the enjoyment of your audience.
haha it's ok, I asked people. I was like "I'm high and lost" and the dude just said "That's my life. Love it."
We made a pact to go to the nursing home together... that way we could stay high till the bitter end. Do you not remember?
being serenaded is actually kind of awkward 2/10 do not reccommend
Listen all I know is that mistakes were made and she stole the car and drove half an hour for food at 4 am
You’ve seen my tits of course he broke his wedding vows
Let me know if you need some dick this weekend.
Between the BF being in town, partying at the Side Dick’s house tonight and two Tinder dates tomorrow I’ve got dick to spare!!
Randomize
